Peerless Really Has Been Everywhere

If there is 1 Artist Peerless Likes, it most certainly is Johnny Cash.  The Man in Black was the Ultimate cool and if there is 1 person Peerless would like to hang out with in a Bar, it would be Mr Cash.  

Anyway, Johnny Cash wrote a song called "I've Been Everywhere" that many people know from the commercial for a major hotel chain.  One day, Peerless listened to the song and all the places Johnny Cash mentions and realized that he also had been to many of the same places (including ones not mentioned because they dont fit with the Lyric Properties of the song).  So on that note (pardon the pun) here are the places listed in "I've been everywhere" and Peerless' commentary on the said places.

Reno- Was here and lost money gambling.
Chicago- Peerless has been here many times.  Great city and even better for restaurants.
Fargo- Not only has Peerless been here, but he almost died in a blizzard driving to this place.  In fact, everytime someone mentions Fargo, Peerless breaks out in a sweat.
Minnesota- Another place Peerless has been many times.  The people are very nice and there are such interesting place names.  For example, Yellow Medicine County.  WTF is Yellow Medicine anyway and why would one want to take it?
Buffalo- Been there done that.  Hope you like 80" of snow every winter because that is what you will get.
Toronto- For his 21st Birthday, Peerless went north with his Fraternity Brothers for the Beer and the Strip Clubs. In fact, Toronto was the first time Peerless saw what a Vaginal Piercing was.
Winslow- Peerless has been in Winslow, NJ (south of Philly) for a wedding.  The bride wore a strapless dress and the tattoo she had of an Angel on her left breast was visible for all to see.  He hopes that got airbrushed out of the wedding album.
Sarasota- Was there.  Couldnt give a shit.
Wichita- Peerless was never there and thanks god for that.
Tulsa- Been to Oklahoma but not Tulsa
Ottawa- There is an Ottawa in Illinois and Peerless went there for work.  it is also the place he got a shovelful of burning corn accidentally dropped on him because the idiot cleaning up the grain silo didnt look where he was dumping the stuff.  But Peerless isnt bitter or holding a grudge.

Oklahoma- Peerless was here in Oklahoma City.  But, it must be said he doesn't care much for the place.  Besides the tornadoes, Peerless has a friend whose car was totaled by Softball sized hail and saw the photos to prove it.
Tampa- Peerless was here but doesnt really care for any part of FLA north of Miami
Panama- Peerless was in the "Redneck Riviera" otherwise known as Panama City Beach.  The closest he got to the actual nation of Panama was listening to "Mr Panama" talking about the Strip Clubs there (see earlier posting).
Mattawa- Not to Mattawa but have been to Matawan, NJ.
LaPaloma- No Idea about this one.
Bangor- Been to 2 Bangors...Bangor, ME and Bangor, PA
Baltimore- Peerless was here, got crabs (the ones from Cheasapeak Bay)
Salvador- Peerless was in Salvador, Brazil.  A very interesting place.
Amarillo- Peerless has never been here but thinks that if you happen to go there, you must be in big trouble because there is nothing there.
Tocapillo- Never Been
Barranquilla- Located in Columbia, Barranquilla resembles something out of a Star Wars movie between the Drug Lords, the Communist Guerillas, and the other hoodlums.  Peerless has not been to this hell hole but will be sure to bring Han Solo and the Millenium Falcon when he does go.
Padilla- Not Been

Boston- Peerless has been.  Liked it.
Charleston- Charleston WV.  A little joke: How do you know Jesus wasn't Born in W Virginia? Because they couldnt find 3 wise men and a Virgin.  Ho Ho Ho.
Dayton- Was there. Remember the episode of WKRP in Cincinnati when Dr. Johnny Fever had to go to Dayton at nighttime and Mr. Carlson tells him to be very careful?  Well, Mr Carlson was right.
Louisiana- Peerless Was here and thinks they should not have been allowed to reenter the Union after the Civil War Ended.
Washington- Washington DC and Washington State.  Peerless went to both.
Houston- "Heaven, Hell, or Houston"  After being to Houston, Peerless would take his chances on the first two places mentioned.
Kingston- Been to Kingston, PA (outside of Scranton)
Texarkana- Was there once.  Hot as hell.
Monterey- Peerless wasnt there but the guy from the bodega below his apartment is from there.
Fairaday- Located in Minnesota along I-35, Peerless went through there more than 1x and probably used the bathroom at the gas station there.
Santa Fe- not been.
Tallapoosa- another not been
Glen Rock- Glen Rock, NJ.  Has been
Black Rock- Not yet.
Little Rock- Was there.  Peerless has to say that while most people dont rate Arkansas highly, Little Rock and Fayetteville (Home of University of Arkansas) have some really hot women.  
Oskaloosa- Oskaloosa, Iowa.  A place that will live in infamy because Peerless had to listen to some asshole farmer rant about Jews for 10 minutes without realizing that Peerless Himself was a member of "the Tribe".  Another place they can rule out as the Birthplace of Jesus.
Tennessee- Liked it very much.
Chicopee- In Minnesota, Peerless drove through here.
Spirit Lake- In North Dakota, Peerless used to live about 100 miles from there in Minot.  Famous for its Nuclear Missile Silos.
Grand Lake- Have not been there.
Devil's Lake- Another place in North Dakota.  If Peerless was in charge of the Witness Protection Program, he would place the criminals here because they will wish they were killed within 2 hours of being relocated to this god forsaken place.
Crater Lake- Not Been but Peerless wants to Run the Crater lake marathon.  Very pretty.

Louisville- Very Nice place, Very Nice Women.
Nashville- A very Cool Place, Peerless Imagined himself walking in the Footsteps of Johnny Cash
Knoxville- Not Been but Peerless wants to go to a University of Tennessee game.
Ombabika- Only God knows where this place is.
Schefferville- No
Jacksonville- Peerless was here.  Unfortunately, Jacksonville is also the location where the Eagles lost the Super Bowl and Donovan McNabb Threw up on the field instead of trying to win the game.
Waterville- Waterville, Maine.  Peerless liked this place because they had great Seafood.
Costa Rock- No
Pittsfield- In Massachusetts, Peerless drove through.
Springfield- Many different Springfields but Peerless spent a lot of time in Springfield, Illinois. He dated a girl there once who didn't know Kansas was a State in spite of the fact she owned a Kansas University Sweatshirt.  
Bakersfield- Nothing there but Jackrabbits, Earthquakes, and undocumented foreigners.
Shreveport- No
Hackensack- Duh, right across the River from NYC.  Yes Peerless was here.
Cadillac- No
Fond du Lac- North of Madison, Wisc. Peerless was there.  Lots of Dairy Cows.
Davenport- One of the Quad Cities, Davenport was a nice place.
Idaho- One of the few states Peerless has never been.
Jerrico- Jerrico on Long Island...Peerless has been there for many a Bar Mitzvah and Bris.
Argentina-  A great Country.  Best (and cheapest) eats of any country Peerless has traveled to.
Diamantina- No
Pasadena- Peerless went there for the first Super Bowl between Dallas and Buffalo
Catalina- No

Pittsburgh- Yes
Parkersburg- There is a Parkersburg outside Philly and Peerless was there.
Gravelbourg- No
Colorado- Yes.  Peerless wants to go to Boulder and train in the Rocky Mountains
Ellensburg- No
Rexburg- See the comment above on Idaho
Vicksburg- Drove through but didnt stop to see the famous battlefield.
Eldorado- No
Larimore- No
Adimore- No
Haverstraw- In Mass.  Yes
Chatanika- No
Shasta- Would like to go.  N California is very Pretty.
Nebraska- One of Peerless' best friends is from Nebraska.  In fact Peerless went there to work (get hazed) on a Hog Farm when he was training to be a Grain Trader (a story on this will follow).
Alaska- No unfortunately.  Peerless would probably like it very much.
Opalacka- In Florida but never been
Baraboo- in Wisc.  Peerless drove through and also has a good friend in NY who is from there.
Waterloo- Waterloo, Iowa.  Peerless was there.
Kalamazoo- Not been, but a lot of people are out of work from there.
Kansas City- Was there.  Didnt care for it.
Sioux City- Peerless has been to this town and the 2 below it.  They are all in Iowa
Cedar City- " " "
Dodge City- " " "

So there you have it.  Peerless has been to most of the places mentioned in the song.  Now, he is thinking about writing a Country Music tune in reverse.  This means he will get his House, Wife, and Pickup Truck returned to him.