The stories people want to hear about the floor.

I realize many of the readers of this blog want to hear stories that are similar to what they see in the movies about Wall Street.  Luckily, more than a few of those have taken place and I can basically verify they are (for the most part) true.  Here are some of my favorites.....

1.  My first boss on the floor (the one responsible for Mr. Commando) literally made $1 million in 3 seconds.  In 1987, he was trading Silver and was standing in the middle of the pit so he could hear the order flow from all parts of the ring.  During a very busy market one day, one broker on the right side of where he was standing came in and offered 10,000 contracts of silver options at 10 ticks cheaper than the guy on the left side of my boss was bidding for them.  Because the market was so loud, the 2 other brokers couldn't hear each other but my Boss could hear both of them.  So, he bot the 10000 from the guy on his right and instantaneously sold them to the guy on his left and banked $1 million.  I think he celebrated his big trade by stopping at Dairy Queen on his way home from the office that day.

2.  Another guy was trading Crude Oil and had bot 1000's of far from the money call options and paid at the most 5 cents for each option.  He goes home from the market that night thinking that the market will never go to the level where it needs to be for those options to be worth any real money.  Over the course of the evening, a pipeline in Saudi Arabia gets bombed and sure enough, the position the trader put on for perhaps $10,000 is now worth $35 MILLION.  The next morning, he comes in, sells out his position to collect the $35 million, and leaves the floor for good.  In fact, no one has heard from him since then.

3.  In a story that doesn't involve making or losing millions:  A clerk shows up on for his first day and is told he will be the person who relays orders from a person standing in one pit to a guy who will execute his orders in a different market.  Lo and Behold, the market opens and is going crazy and this poor new fellow can't keep up with all the orders he is being given and trades he has to report.  He becomes so overwhelmed that he faints right there on the floor and they have to stop trading to get the medical staff to revive him.  When the new guy's boss is told his clerk fainted, he replies "Get him out of here, he is useless anyway."  I dont know if the kid got fired or quit but I never saw him again.

4.  I quit a job once in sheer terror because a guy threw a calculator at me.  I went to work for a very high strung Brazilian trader about 10 years ago in spite of warnings that he tended to not keep people employed for very long.  About 10 minutes into day 3 of my tenure there, he was doing a big trade and literally screams at me "WHAT IS MY POSITION" (meaning how many futures has he bot and is he net long or short).  Startled into action, I am fumbling with my calculator and come up with what I presume was the incorrect answer.  When I gave him my pathetic estimate, he gave a primal scream and threw his calculator at me, missing my head by 3 microns and smashing against the wall behind me.  Now, I must say, I have worked for some tough people in my lifetime (including a guy who was the highest level black belt in Tae Kwon Do in the S Korean army) but this guy was too much for me.  I excused myself from the desk, went to the mens room, and made a very shaky phone call to my old boss to ask for my former job back.  Luckily, they didn't fill the position yet and I went back to my old (new) job as if nothing ever happened.  I will write more about this episode another time because there are many more funny details to it.

5.  I will call the main guy in this story "Taxi Driver".  Several years ago, a big time broker from the trading floor (no longer there) apparently had a big night on the town with a woman who wasn't his wife.  Apparently, the mood escalated to a situation where they needed a hotel room for the evening.  Our guy hails a taxi cab and it takes him and the woman to a hotel.  Thinking nothing of the ride, he pays the driver and checks into the establishment for the night.  The next day, he goes home and finds the Police waiting for him at his house with his wife. It turns out the Taxi Driver was tragically murdered and our hero was the last person seen with the driver.  So, now our guy has to come forth with his Alibi- the other woman who could corroborate she was with him in the hotel.  He tries to pull the cops to the side and explain to them the situation and "could they help him out a little bit."  The cops respond that the other woman is his problem and he better just admit where he was so they don't arrest him.  Therefore, he is cleared of any wrong doing but it ultimately cost him is marriage.

Sometimes, true life is better than fiction.